Drew Carey

“It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”

“There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.”

“George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.”

“Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you.”

“After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine.”

“I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.”

“I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything.”

“I don't have a Bluetooth thing on my ear. That bugs me.”

“My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.”

“Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.”

“I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else.”

“It doesn't matter how smart you are; to audition for 'Jeopardy,' you just have to luck out and know what they're asking you that day.”

“I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.”

“Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.”