A biography for Drew Careyhasn’t been written yet.
“Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.”
“I'm never afraid to die. I think that's the best thing that can happen to somebody is they get to move on and do something better.”
“Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.”
“I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.”
“We'll never see national shows with 45 shares again.”
“Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know?”
“I was in the band when I was a kid, I played the trumpet.”
“Libertarians are essentially what the Republicans were 30 years ago. Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan. They'd all fit more under the Libertarian label than the modern day Republican label.”
“Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.”
“I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'”
“I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done.”
“I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them.”
“The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.”
“I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun.”
“I work with a place in Santa Monica called Phase IV. My doctor recommended them to me when I started losing weight. They help people train for things like triathlons or biking and running races. They offer physical therapists, testing, lectures.”
“'Green Screen' was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.”
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
“I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it's a tiring lifestyle to have.”
“I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.”
“Living in Hollywood, you can get disconnected from everybody. You can feel like you are the only one.”