Doug Larson

“The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.”

“Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.”

“Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.”

“The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.”

“Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.”

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.”

“Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.”

“Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.”

“If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.”

“A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.”

“Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.”

“The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.”

“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”

“Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.”

“Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.”