David Cross

“I'd be curious to find out, but I don't think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry.”

“I was heavily influenced by Andy Kaufman and Steven Wright.”

“Besides if people really want to support the troops they would vote democrat.”

“My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.”

“I have no hesitation doing children's movies. Zero. And I don't even have kids.”

“Abandoned babies are unfortunate unwanted results of a once urgent desire to have an orgasm”

“I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.”

“Occasionally I'll watch Fox News for as long as I can tolerate it, or CNN. I'll watch until I get infuriated, but you got to know what they're talking about and what they're not talking about.”

“It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny.”

“If there are a couple of adjectives people use to describe me, anger is usually in there. I've never taken that as criticism. It's the way I naturally communicate. But I'm not faux-angry, like Lewis Black, or angry like a gun-toting crazy person. I'm just angry in a mild way - it's not like I'm going to do anything about it.”

“I love Tinkle, it's really the most fun I've had in years.”

“You can't just yell jokes at people.”

“I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny.”

“I remember being a kid and the Vietnam War was huge and looking at Watergate.”

“I'm of the mindset that most people who have kids are, which is, 'Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and the way I think is the right way to think. Let's put another one of me out there.' So I'll have kids one day.”

“Originally they wanted me to be Buster but I really like the Tobias part.”

“I think I'd be a really good dad. So perhaps I'm doing society a disservice by not having as many kids as possible.”

“There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.”

“Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.”

“I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.”