Dane Cook

“I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance, so if the right script comes along, and I certainly am reading comedies and dramas now, then I'm ready willing and able to give it a shot.”

“I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.”

“The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related.”

“I had the humble beginnings. I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.”

“I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.”

“People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.”

“I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.”

“My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.”

“No one wants to drown. Drowning would be the worst. Cause everyone knows that feeling. That feeling, oh it's the worst... when you think you're drowning.”

“I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.”

“I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.”

“There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.”

“I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'”

“In the year 3000, everything will be instant.”

“My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.”

“I'm a late-night guy.”

“I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.”

“I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.”

“Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!”

“I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.”