Colin Mochrie

“I do enjoy working with Ryan although he owes me money.”

“Hey, Ryan, if Sting retires, will he change his name to Stung?”

“My agent, Jeff Andrews, suggested I write a book. For some reason. he doesn't like it when I'm not doing anything.”

“Give me liberty or give me a bran muffin!”

“I have many favorite artists... Van Gogh as one, but he didn't really sing a lot!”

“I'm handsome, no ands, buts or ifs.”

“As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favourites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers.”

“The American audiences are more vocal and enthusiastic. British audiences tend to sit back a little more.”

“The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge.”

“We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.”

“I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.”

“We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes.”

“Well, it seems all the fish in the rivers are dying. Could this be an act of cod?”

“You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.”

“There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky.”

“I am such a pessimist that every project has surpassed what I envisioned.”

“Give me liberty or a bran muffin!”

“Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people, one person will always disagree with the other nine!”

“Comedy is such a personal thing. Everybody can cry at the same thing, but it's a lot harder to get everyone to laugh at the same thing.”

“Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had.”