A biography for Chris Rockhasn’t been written yet.
“I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive me to my mother's, so I'd be with my grandfather a lot. I used to watch him write his sermons.”
“I love being famous. It's almost like being white.”
“America is the greatest country in the whole world.”
“I'm a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.”
“You can only offend me if you mean something to me.”
“Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.”
“Jokes rot. They're not like songs. I always envy singers - Sting is always going to sing 'Roxanne'. But people want to hear new jokes. I've written jokes as good as 'Roxanne', I believe. But I can't tell them again.”
“The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much.”
“Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.”
“Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.”
“When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television.”
“I live way below my means.”
“Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.”
“When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.”
“I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird.”
“Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.”
“If I find a comedy club where no one's camera works, I'll go.”
“Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.”
“Anything I say about women, I try to make sure that at least five or six friends of mine are going through a similar situation. That way I'm not picking on my wife.”
“You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense”