A biography for Bob Mortimerhasn’t been written yet.
“A lot of comedians want people to listen to them. I don't think we've ever been that bothered about whether people would want to listen to us.”
“That's the thing, you see, we were never good enough to write proper punchlines.”
“Comedy, if it didn't save my life, certainly gave me a very different life.”
“In broadcasting, there's a lot of longevity offered to people like Griff Rhys Jones and Stephen Fry, who are polymaths more than comics. We're comics first and foremost.”
“I don't fish but had always wanted to after doing it as a kid.”
“House of Fools,' that was the first thing I was sad that we couldn't do any more.”
“I used to like getting cups and putting tiny bits of food and liquids in them. I'd grow mould plumes in the dark wardrobe of my little back bedroom. Not to eat them, mind - just to admire the growing power.”
“I get tempted to do a reality show because I enjoy them so much.”
“I never craved having people leave a show saying, 'He's really intelligent, isn't he?' I didn't watch Tommy Cooper and think, 'Oh, he's so bright.' He just made me laugh.”
“I go on 'Sunday Brunch' and Simon Rimmer's mashed potato is like heaven.”
“I come from an era when if you are told that you need a triple heart bypass it sounds pretty terminal. But I think it's quite a normal operation these days.”
“I hate dinner parties, you know, can't stand them. Friends don't bother inviting me any more, because they know I won't come. I could never think of anything to say between courses - it's a confidence thing, I suppose.”
“We live very ordinary lives.”
“We've always been a slightly specialist interest, and as you get older, for specialist interest programmes I think broadcasters are probably looking for younger talent, really.”
“I look at stuff like the 'The Whole 19 Yards' and it reminds me of my childhood watching shows with Mike Reid and kids climbing over obstacles.”
“The wife and the kids provide my exercise, but I have to be careful because I have rheumatoid arthritis all over my body.”
“Darts is bad.”
“We miss 'House of Fools' a lot. We always enjoyed doing that; it felt a bit like a different and fresh show for British TV, so we always feel attached to those sort of things.”
“When you've had a heart thing, a lot of the problems are psychological.”
“I spend a lot of money on the little things that make me happy, like 3 falafels from M&S to eat on the train on the way up to Edinburgh, but I do keep a close eye on the bigger picture. I don't flash the cash ridiculously on expensive things.”