Bob Hope

“I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.”

“I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.”

“I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.”

“If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.”

“She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.”

“I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.”

“Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.”

“Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands”

“I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.”

“If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.”

“A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.”

“People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.”