Bill Watterson

“Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.”

“A real job is a job you hate.”

“On gray days, when it's snowing or raining, I think you should be able to call up a judge and take an oath that you'll just read a good book all day, and he'd allow you to stay home.”

“Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”

“Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?”

“We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”

“CALVIN:This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?HOBBES:I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN:Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.”

“I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.”

“Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.”

“I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.-Calvin”

“I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.”

“If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now 'grieving' for 'Calvin and Hobbes' would be wishing me dead.”

“Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.”

“Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.”

“The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse”

“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”

“CALVIN:Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.”

“Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.”

“God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.”

“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”