Ali Wong

“You become like a vampire when you're pregnant: your senses are so sensitive, and your emotions are so heightened - that helps with performance because you really feel things.”

“All I ever wanted to do was tell jokes for a living.”

“I was so boisterous in high-school, I don't think a lot of boys liked me that much 'cause they were like, 'Oh, she's so loud and so crazy.' But then this thing happens in your late twenties, and guys begin to take note of women's personalities more or something.”

“I want to be like a Wendy Murdoch or a Georgina Chapman.”

“When you're pregnant, you're all gassy, and you're hungry, but then you're nauseous.”

“I didn't expect to be so comfortable handing my child off to a nanny without getting any of her information. As soon as she arrived at my house, I threw my baby in her arms and went to Target.”

“The life of a true, traditional stand-up is really unappealing for women.”

“I've seen many female comics that a lot of people haven't heard of who are so funny, and I saw them come up, and they were working so hard, and then all of a sudden they had a baby, and they just got tied up in motherhood, and eventually, they kind of just stopped doing stand-up, and I thought it was such a shame.”

“That's the difference between a great comic and a bad comic - one has great instincts and has a lot of compassion and can feel what's right and what's wrong.”

“Every male comedian of note who is over the age of 45 has a kid, and they talk about it and don't get grouped as 'dad comics.'”

“When you're a mom, you need sparkle to compensate for the light inside of you that has died.”

“I liked that improv and sketch comedy were collaborative, but you really depended on other people and a stage to perform. With stand-up comedy, I liked that you had no one else to blame and depend on.”

“I don't want to be that famous.”

“With my husband, I do really appreciate the fact that we - even though we're different kinds of Asian, there is a cultural shorthand between us, and I don't have to explain anything. I've dated guys before who weren't Asian-American, and it frustrated me when I would have to defend why beans belong in a dessert.”

“It's very rare that stand-up comics have kids, because once they do, they stop doing stand-up.”

“My parents emphasized experiential learning - in my family, being adventurous was a sign of maturity.”

“The concept of 'diversity' was this big moral 'should.' And now with the success of shows like 'Fresh Off the Boat,' 'Empire,' 'Blackish,' and 'Jane the Virgin,' it's become this big business 'must,' which is so great.”

“Stand-up is no bureaucracy. No one can tell me what to do or not to do.”

“Maternity leave is for women to hide and heal their disintegrating body.”

“I think I went through puberty really late in life or something. I always looked like a little, sad Thai boy up until I was 26.”