A biography for Alexandra Petrihasn’t been written yet.
“Journalists run many risks. It comes with the profession.”
“President Obama deserves our unalloyed praise for hastening Osama bin Laden's demise.”
“YouTube is covered in comments that would be better expressed - and better spelled - via a simple thumbs-up or down.”
“Comedy and politics have a lot in common. Both are great ways to pick up chicks - just look at Governor Spitzer. Or Ellen Degeneres. Both require spending time on the road meeting strangers who often have the desire to throw things at you. Both are difficult, if not impossible, to do all alone. And both rely heavily on personality.”
“Every so often, when I am feeling plucky, I try to write a screenplay that combines all 10 of Americans' top phobias and market it as a sleeper hit.”
“All the young voters who flocked to Obama in droves grew up watching 'The Daily Show' and the 'Colbert Report.'”
“People feel compelled to continue reading and hearing the news. Sometimes, you just want somebody to be yelling at it with you as you're reading it. I think of that as my function.”
“No one has debates on Twitter.”
“Awkward is a state of being.”
“George Washington didn't have to make us laugh; he just had to establish precedents and avoid chopping down more cherry trees than he could possibly help. But somewhere along the line, Americans began expecting their presidents to do more than just govern. They also had to make us laugh.”
“I can be serious for an hour; then I have to go lie down.”
“I love Gene Weingarten's feature writing with the passion of a thousand suns.”
“The worst thing that happens to you at college if you fail to get out of bed in time is that you will miss two hours of someone reading scintillating anecdotes about Medieval Ireland. The worst thing that happens to you in life if you fail to get out of bed in time is that you might lose your job as a first responder.”
“At college, everyone's milestones occurred in shared clumps. Everyone studied, caroused, won, lost - simultaneously. Life is not like that.”
“Millennials don't go to rallies.”
“Books are wonderful. They are like people, except they mind less when you put them down and wander off to eat something.”
“The desire for attention has become a primal need along the lines of food, water, and clothing.”
“George W. Bush has dutifully, if not intentionally, provided Americans with laughs for nearly a decade. He has also made them cry, sometimes for the same reason.”