A biography for Alan Kinghasn’t been written yet.
“Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.”
“As you get older, as you become more sensitive, feel more, it becomes harder to make jokes. You censor yourself.”
“My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails.”
“My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'”
“The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.”
“Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.”
“It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.”
“Smoked salmon is for dinner. Belly lox is for breakfast. Don't get that mixed up.”
“My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.”
“Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.”
“When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.”
“The ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.”
“I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.”
“We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.”
“My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.”
“There's nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.”
“You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.”
“My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.”
“I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.”
“I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.”