“Children, if I have to crawl off the goddamn floor on the morning of November 4th, brush aside the empty wine bottles and pick up my phone to discover that Caligula Jackson is President For Life; I am going to chew my way through the bathroom tile and I will not stop until I reach the gates of Hell. [...] Don't make me eat my bathroom tile, children. There's probably asbestos in that tile, because America's so great even the floor is made of poison.”