“A friend of mine is Matthew Parris (the newspaper columnist) who breeds llamas [...] And Matt had a llama called Darren. Incidentally he names his llamas after the first person of the same sex as the llama who sees them. Darren is the local plumber.Unfortunately Darren took a shine when he reached puberty to his auntie Vera… Vera being a cleaning lady when she's not a llama. So there was a real concern that they would end up with a llama with two heads as a result of an incestuous relationship.”