“A Rough GuideBe polite at the reception desk.Not all the knives are in the museum.The waitresses know that a nice boyis formed in the same way as a deckchair.Pay for the beer and send flowers.Introduce yourself as Richard.Do not refer to what somebody didat a particular time in the past.Remember, every Friday we used to gofor a walk. I walked. You walked.Everything in the past is irregular.This steak is very good. Sit down.There is no wine, but there is ice cream.Eat slowly. I have many matches.”

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About Mark Haddon

English novelist

Mark Haddon is an English novelist, best known for The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, published in 2003. He has 129 quotes on the site. He is also the recipient of the Whitbread Award, the Dolly Gray Children's Literature Award, the Guardian Prize, and a Commonwealth Writers' Prize. His reputation rests on fiction that reached a wide readership and brought him several major literary honors.

More from Mark Haddon (129 quotes) →

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Books by Mark Haddon

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

2004

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A Spot of Bother

2006

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Gridzbi Spudvetch!

1993

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The Porpoise

2019

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The red house

2012

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