“Me: “I refuse to attend Support Group.”Mom: “One of the symptoms of depression is disinterest in activities.”Me: “Please just let me watch America’s Next Top Model. It’s an activity.”Mom: “Television is a passivity.”Me: “Ugh, Mom, please.”Mom: “Hazel, you’re a teenager. You’re not a little kid anymore. You need to make friends, get out of the house, and live your life.”Me: “If you want me to be a teenager, don’t send me to Support Group. Buy me a fake ID so I can go to clubs, drink vodka, and take pot.”Mom: “You don’t take pot, for starters.”Me: “See, that’s the kind of thing I’d know if you got me a fake ID.”Mom: “You’re going to Support Group.”Me: “UGGGGGGGGGGGGG.”Mom: “Hazel, you deserve a life.”

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About John Green

American author and YouTuber

John Michael Green is an American author and YouTuber, known for his work in young adult fiction and online video. He has 491 quotes on the site. His books have sold more than 50 million copies worldwide. Among them is The Fault in Our Stars, published in 2012 and widely ranked among the best-selling books of all time. His rapid rise and distinctive voice are often credited with helping reshape the young adult fiction market. He is also known for his YouTube projects with his younger brother, Hank Green.

More from John Green (491 quotes) →

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Books by John Green

The Fault in Our Stars

2012

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Looking for Alaska

2006

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Paper Towns

2008

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An Abundance of Katherines

2006

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Will Grayson, Will Grayson

2012

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