“The point is that we can't behave right when we don't feel right. And kids can't behave right when they don't feel right. If we don't take care of their feelings first, we have little chance of engaging their cooperation. All we'll have left going for us is our ability to use greater force. And since we'd like to reserve brute force for emergencies such as yanking children out of traffic, we've got to face this feelings thing head-on.”