“The first thing I do when I come home is check the refrigerator for cats because I'm convinced that if one dies, my husband will hide it in there because I don't cook and so I won't see it. I do drink Cokes, though, so technically he should hide the corpse in the oven. And now I need to start checking the oven.”

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"The first thing I do when I come home is check the refrigerator for c…" — Jenny Lawson | Daily Quotes