“I was going to die. I was going to die, right now, right here, before I even had a chance to thoroughly apologize to anyone for what I’d done...before I had a chance to forgive myself. I wasn’t even going to leave with a bang, one final act of dignity or at least the thought that I still belonged somewhere; I would die without even the simple acceptance that I’d done everything I could. Tears welled in my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. I didn’t want to die crying.”