“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am. It is silly, isn't it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim "You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself" made clear sense. And I add, "Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.”

American philosopher, educator, author, and social critic

bell hooks was an American philosopher, educator, author, and social critic. Born Gloria Jean Watkins, she was a Distinguished Professor in Residence at Berea College in Kentucky. She is known for writing under the name bell hooks and for shaping modern discussions of feminism and social critique. Her work examined race, gender, and social class, especially how they connect with capitalism and help sustain systems of oppression and class domination. She published nearly 40 books and many scholarly articles, moving between essays, poetry, and children's literature. Across that wide body of work, she wrote about love, art, history, sexuality, and mass media.