“Often men who have been emotionally neglected and abused as children by dominating mothers bond with assertive women, only to have their childhood feelings of being engulfed surface. While they could not 'smash their mommy' and still receive love, they find that they can engage in intimate violence with partners who respond to their acting out by trying harder to connect with them emotionally, hoping that the love offered in the present will heal the wounds of the past. If only one party in the relationship is working to create love, to create the space of emotional connection, the dominator model remains in place and the relationship just becomes a site for continuous power struggle.”

American philosopher, educator, author, and social critic

bell hooks was an American philosopher, educator, author, and social critic. Born Gloria Jean Watkins, she was a Distinguished Professor in Residence at Berea College in Kentucky. She is known for writing under the name bell hooks and for shaping modern discussions of feminism and social critique. Her work examined race, gender, and social class, especially how they connect with capitalism and help sustain systems of oppression and class domination. She published nearly 40 books and many scholarly articles, moving between essays, poetry, and children's literature. Across that wide body of work, she wrote about love, art, history, sexuality, and mass media.