“Men did care enough to struggle with our demands. And some cared enough to convert to feminist thinking and to change. But only a very, very few loved us – loved us all the way. And that meant respecting our sexual rights. To this day I believe that feminist debate about love and sexuality ended precisely because straight women did not want to face the reality that it was highly unlikely in patriarchal society that a majority of men would wholeheartedly embrace women’s right to say no in the bedroom. Since the vast majority of heterosexual women, even those involved in radical feminist movement, were not willing to say no when they did not want to perform sexually for the fear of upsetting or alienating their mate, no significant group of men ever had to rise to the occasion. While it became more acceptable to say no now and then, it was not acceptable to say no for any significant amount of time. An individual woman in a primary relationship with a man could not say no, because she feared there was always another woman in the background who could take her place, a woman who would never say no.”

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About bell hooks

American philosopher, educator, author, and social critic

bell hooks was an American philosopher, educator, author, and social critic. Born Gloria Jean Watkins, she was a Distinguished Professor in Residence at Berea College in Kentucky. She is known for writing under the name bell hooks and for shaping modern discussions of feminism and social critique. Her work examined race, gender, and social class, especially how they connect with capitalism and help sustain systems of oppression and class domination. She published nearly 40 books and many scholarly articles, moving between essays, poetry, and children's literature. Across that wide body of work, she wrote about love, art, history, sexuality, and mass media.

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Books by bell hooks

Feminism Is for Everybody

2000

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Yearning

1990

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Ain't I a Woman

1981

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Teaching to transgress

2014

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Reel to real

1996

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