“I thought that when someone dies, a person changes. I thought you'd lose yoursense of being judged and caring about this judgement; I thought you'd hold life in thepalm of your hand and dance and water it with rain. I thought you'd be able to dance ina crowd and laugh. But I was wrong. I am insecure, more than I was before. I takethings for granted. I'm angry, mean, judgmental, critical, bitter and quick to assume. I am lethargic. I despise all around me. And then some days, I feel normal.”