“I used to be a Catholic. I left because I object to conversion by concussion. If you don't agree with what they teach, you get clobbered over the head until you do. All that does is change the shape of the head.”

American actor and filmmaker

Alan Alda is an American actor and filmmaker. Born Alphonso Joseph D'Abruzzo, he has had a career spanning seven decades on stage and screen. He is best known for playing Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce in the CBS wartime comedy drama M*A*S*H, and for writing and directing many episodes of the series. His work in M*A*S*H made him a familiar figure to television audiences, and his career has brought him major awards, including six Emmy Awards and six Golden Globe Awards. He has also been nominated for an Academy Award, two BAFTA Awards, a Grammy Award, and four Tony Awards.