“Once a partner has begun to lose interest, there is apparently little the other can do to arrest the process. Like seduction, withdrawal suffers under a blanket of reticence. The very breakdown of communication is hard to discuss, unless both parties have a desire to see it restored. This leaves the lover in a desperate situation. Honest dialogue seems to produce only irritation and smothers love in the attempt to revive it. Desperate to woo the partner back at any cost, the lover might at this point be tempted to turn to romantic terrorism, the product of irredeemable situations, a gamut of tricks (sulking, jealousy, guilt) that attempt to force the partner to return love, by blowing up (in fits of tears, rage or otherwise) in front of the loved one. The terroristic partner knows he cannot realistically hope to see his love reciprocated, but the futility of something is not always (in love or in politics) a sufficient argument against it. Certain things are said not because they will be heard, but because it is important to speak.”

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About Alain de Botton

British author and public speaker

Alain de Botton is a British author and public speaker known for writing about contemporary life and for making philosophy feel useful in everyday settings. His work often turns to common experiences and asks how ideas can help explain them. Among his best-known books are Essays in Love, which sold two million copies, How Proust Can Change Your Life, Status Anxiety, and The Architecture of Happiness.

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Books by Alain de Botton

The Architecture of Happiness

2008

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The news

2014

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The course of love

2016

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Religion for Atheists

2012

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The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work

2009

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