Yakov Smirnoff

“We have a choice - we can both think and feel, using our heads and our hearts.”

“As Americans after 9/11, we're much more united, together as a nation, and we got stronger, better, and more at peace. By peace, I mean the harmony you can feel in our united determination to fight these terrorists and killers.”

“In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.”

“Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication... which includes laughter.”

“Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.”

“People in Tulsa are totally friendly; the crowds are very nice.”

“I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.”

“Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.”

“I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.”

“The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.”

“If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.”

“I fed my ego, but not my soul.”

“When you like something, you find time to do it.”

“Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.”

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

“There's depth in my comedy.”

“When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.”

“We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.”

“I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world.”

“The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.”