Will Cuppy

“Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.”

“You can't do much for the poor, as they are not in with the right people.”

“If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.”

“Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.”

“The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.”

“Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.”

“The Dodo never had a chance. He seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of becoming extinct and that was all he was good for.”

“The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look it up to see how it is spelled.”

“It's easy to see the faults in people I know; it's hardest to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.”

“We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.”

“Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.”

“If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence.”

“Intelligence is the capacity to know what we are doing and instinct is just instinct. The results are about the same.”

“Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.”

“I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in this country.”

“Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.”

“Would it not be downright cruel to keep him in semi-captivity in a town or city, where the opportunities for wreaking havoc and destruction upon the landscape are necessarily so limited? In a word, is it right to attract Wombats?”

“He had also learned that there is no use murdering people; there are always so many left, and if you tried to murder them all you would never get anything else done.”