Wanda Sykes

“I'm a huge Sia fan. I love Sia, I have just about all of her stuff.”

“Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.”

“I don't understand why people really get upset about something that doesn't affect them at all.”

“I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom.”

“I have a sidekick, Keith Robinson, who's very funny. I've known Keith for over 20 years; he's my best friend.”

“Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it.”

“I couldn't believe that Donald Trump won. I couldn't believe that we elected an orangutan to front the country.”

“I worked with people like Edward Snowden. Well, not people who took stuff home.”

“I love working with other actors and other people - you know, stand-up - it's lonely; it's just you out there and the audience. But it's fun working with other actors. I love doing that, too.”

“I'm here today because I hated everything else.”

“In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression.”

“It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.”

“I love Costas. He's knows too much, but he's a good guy.”

“If I'm talking about something current, a current issue or something political, it's because I was able to read it when I was on the plane getting to the gig... a lot of it happens when I'm on the road because when I'm home, you're just mom, and that's it.”

“But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.”

“People are getting careers from YouTube and uploading videos. And they're totally different - you can't necessarily be funny on a video, and then all of a sudden you're live in a theater. You don't have the tools yet. It's a lot more involved to go from being funny on a little iPhone screen to being live in front of people and being funny.”

“I think sometimes celebrities can hurt a candidate. You don't want people to judge them on your last project.”

“If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.”

“I knew I was outspoken when I was a kid because, whenever my parents had company coming over, they would pay me to leave. 'Go see your grandmother. Get out of here.' That was my first paying gig.”

“I remember, when I was a kid, my summers were pretty much running around, riding your bike, and then complaining about you were bored.”