A biography for Victoria Coren Mitchellhasn’t been written yet.
“Many moneyed children grow up with no drive at all.”
“You will enjoy the TV and radio forecast much more if you stop taking it as advice and simply treat it as a short poem about the weather.”
“My speeding offences (whether caught or not) are always in situations where the speed limit is 30, but I think it's 40. And I'm never doing 40, always a careful 37.”
“The millions who watch 'Downton Abbey' do so neither relating to the Granthams nor hating them. It's an amused enjoyment of spectacle.”
“People have become desperate to reduce everything, including each other, to mindless categories of good and bad, as if the world can be divided into Facebook likes and dislikes.”
“When I was 15, I still liked climbing trees and hiding in cupboards.”
“I never wanted poker to be a job. That's partly because I love it, and it's fun, and I didn't want it to stop being fun, and partly because, I suppose, something in me doesn't feel right about calling poker a job. It's not grown-up enough. But it's a hobby that takes up an enormous amount of my time.”
“Anyone who's tuned in to the House of Commons TV coverage knows the benches are often empty. I like that. I'm a big fan of political transparency. It's good for us to know which debates the MPs consider important enough to show up for, and which not.”
“I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.”
“I can't believe that 100% of the people who stand in art galleries looking at art are thinking, 'Well, here I am, looking at art.' They must be having some sort of other, unselfconscious experience.”
“Everyone likes a pair of comfy shoes. But is this an automatic right? Comfy shoes are clearly not allowed at the Oscars, for example. Why should criminals enjoy a treat that is denied to our favourite actresses? All prisoners, male and female, should be obliged to wear high heels. This would also make them easier to catch during riots.”
“Nature made your eyebrows like that for a reason. I don't know the reason. Some people say it's to do with keeping rain out of monkeys' eyes. Whatever. The point is, if you try to redesign your eyebrows with tweezers and pens, it will look terrible.”
“I know that I'm probably far more pedestrian and less talented than many who dreamed of becoming writers but couldn't see the road so easily.”
“Casino games such as roulette, blackjack, baccarat, slot machines and so on, are stacked in favour of the house.”
“Socks and sandals together are absolutely fine, as long as your flares are wide enough to cover your feet.”
“If you are actually ordinary, the only way to give royal status meaning is to live an extraordinary life. It can't be jeans and burgers and granny doing the babysitting.”
“I've never danced while driving, nor put on makeup.”
“Never take your makeup off before bed. Sleep in it. That way, you're all ready to go if a hot postman rings the doorbell early.”
“Given the choice, I'm sure the majority of children would rather have a packed lunch than school meals.”
“I'm just a poker player who does a bit of TV.”