Tom Holt

“After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something gives?”

“It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.”

“Everything is out there if you know how to find it, and have the patience. I don't and haven't, but that's my problem.”

“Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.”

“I try and do 2,500 words a day, every day of the year.”

“Necessity is the mother of invention, which probably explains why invention’s father left home on the pretext of buying a newspaper and hasn’t been heard of since.”

“He believes it’s time to redesign Evil from the ground up; to face the challenges and opportunities of a diverse, rapidly changing society.“He’s thinking of calling it,” said Miss Gold, “New Evil.”

“There comes a time when a man must stand up and do what he knows is Wrong.”

“Lawyers are predators in grey worsted.”

“Mr Winckler clapped his hands together. “Evil, as personified by me. Meet the new Dark Lord. But you can call me Albert.”

“American-style iced tea is the perfect drink for a hot, sunny day. It's never really caught on in the UK, probably because the last time we had a hot, sunny day was back in 1957.”

“New technology is useful, but it's inefficient and ugly; it knows it'll be obsolete by lunchtime tomorrow, so it has no incentive to be anything else.”

“You mean it's to be peace between you and Elizabeth until after the Tapestry?" cried Georgie, horrified. The prospect of a cessation of hostilities was appalling, for this warfare provided him with the excitement that no other occupation could hope to offer. "Isn't that a bit drastic?”

“When you're about to die, your whole life's supposed to flash before your eyes. When you fall in true love, on the other hand, what you see in the twinkling of an eye is your entire future.”

“I don't read the Sunday papers; or the dailies, either.”

“After all, why be right when you can be happy.”

“Luck, like a Russian car, generally only works if you push it.”

“Poetry is one of the few nasty childhood habits I've managed to grow out of.”

“The best definition of an immortal is someone who hasn't died yet.”