Tom Bodett

“Could the garment and appliance industries be in cahoots together, creating an artificial sock demand to keep us buying?”

“Tom Kizzia hasn't just observed and written about Alaska for three-plus decades, he's lived it. 'Pilgrim's Wilderness' is a story that needed to be told by the only man who could tell it.”

“The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget, but a pessimist forgets to laugh.”

“I originated my own cliches, but I'm finding that's not working for me anymore.”

“Professor Al Drake encouraged me to just write the way I talk. I decided if that's what I needed to do, I didn't need to be in school to do it.”

“Kids in Alaska don't know they're growing up on the Last Frontier. It's just what they see on the license plates, and it's something tourists like to say a lot because they've never been around so many mountains and moose before.”

“My work is still very much light-hearted, positive outlook, laugh at yourself. But it isn't going to be the laugh-a-minute kind of thing that my early work was.”

“There's a lot of people around Alaska now who are actually running the place who claim to just have gone there for the summer once 30 years ago. And that seems to be what happens.”

“I'm happy to report you still get nothing you don't need at Motel 6, and, therefore, you don't have to pay for it. I don't need valet parking. If I can drive the old crate 300 miles to the hotel all by myself, I can certainly handle the last nine feet to the parking space.”

“Mine is not a story to tell struggling writers.”

“What you hear is southern Michigan, not a drawl, but a halting kind of speech where you leave spaces when there shouldn't be any. We take a breath anywhere.”

“Thirty-two is the age we turn into actual adults.”

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”

“People feel vulnerable when they travel. Nobody wants to be taken advantage of or talked into something they don't want. Staying at Motel 6 makes you feel smarter. In fact, I think it actually means you are smarter, but I have no hard data to support that.”

“I went to Alaska as a young man just looking for adventure. And like so many of us in the '70s, we found it.”

“It's not like Alaska isn't wilderness - it mostly is. But most Alaskans don't live in the wild. They live on the edge of the wild in towns with schools and cable TV and stores and dentists and roller rinks sometimes. It's just like anyplace else, only with mountains and moose.”

“I come from very common stock, and I've always been uncomfortable with pretension and all the forms it can take, including disingenuous broadcasting.”

“You can make a new friend but you can't make an old one.”

“Somebody says, 'Do a Tom Bodett, a folksy kind of thing,' and it sounds like something out of 'Hee Haw,' very insulting. They turn wry humor into disparaging sarcasm, and you get what amounts to insulting advertising.”

“The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.”