Tim Conway

“We kept a broad audience, and we didn't make fun of people who had necessarily made mistakes in their life and burned them to the ground. We made fun of a commercial or a movie or ourselves.”

“Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.”

“I have a lot of awards in my house that I have absolutely no idea what they are for.”

“My career is pretty much over. I'm out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs.”

“When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot.”

“I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew.”

“If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person.”

“When I watch TV, I'm embarrassed by some of what's on.”

“Harvey never had an original idea or thought in his life. I was out wandering around the country doing charity benefits, mainly, when I asked him to come along.”

“People enjoy sitting back knowing they won't hear a lot of four-letter words.”

“As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone laugh is a much better way to solve a problem than by using your fists.”

“I don't watch a lot of TV anymore. A lot of it isn't the kind of thing you can feel comfortable with watching with your kids. And I still feel that way even though, now, my kids are in their 30s.”

“Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to begin with.”

“If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I've had a great life.”

“I've known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we're about as close as you can get to being a comedy team.”

“The reason 'The Carol Burnett Show' did so well in the ratings is because people were looking for that comfort zone when the whole family sat around and watched television and enjoyed it.”

“My parents were very funny - they didn't know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ.”

“A lot of people like to live on laurels that happened 20 or 30 years ago, but it's nice to get awards. It's nice to be labeled and things like that, but I'm not sure everybody qualifies.”

“I would get ill before going onstage - something about getting in front of people, and if they don't laugh, I'm a bomb. I got over it when somebody laughed.”

“I've never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it.”