Tig Notaro

“I was a full-blown tomboy; I was very mischievous and got into a lot of trouble. Everybody in my family smoked, and I started smoking probably when I was nine. My friends used to call me Huckleberry Tig.”

“Stand-up is very broad strokes, kind of a skeleton of a story or something.”

“People love to make comedians out to be miserable, dark, twisted people. And I just - I think a lot of people struggle with depression and mental illness and have issues and problems within their family. The mailman has it. Your neighbor has it. It's just that comedians have a microphone.”

“I have somebody I admire and want to keep at a distance. I've had the opportunity to meet her a couple of times - it's Chrissie Hynde from The Pretenders. I just am nuts about her, but I have no interest in meeting her because I just don't think she could live up to what she's been to me in my head.”

“Even in losing my mother, beautiful, amazing awakenings have happened within my family. Of course, losing her is not what you want. The things that happened after her death, she would be so just beside herself with joy that life turned out that way.”

“I failed eighth grade twice, and then they moved me up to ninth grade. Then I failed that and dropped out. My teacher would hand me a test, and I'd grade it myself with an F, then put my head down on the desk.”

“My favorite thing to wear from about first to third grade was a blue t-shirt with an iron-on monkey and the caption 'Here Comes Trouble.'”

“Basically I'm a female human being with brown hair, enjoy precision, reading the news, eating delicious food with my delicious friends and laughing at ridiculous things that don't translate while you are desperately trying to make them.”

“After 2012, I thought, 'Oh wow, I've lived through this, and now I have a free ride in life.' And I can't believe I really thought that. As soon as I was healed from cancer and everything I was going through, I got back out into life and realized it doesn't work out like that.”

“I'm fascinated by caddy Buddhists popping up all over Hollywood and people that take themselves too seriously.”

“Life can very genuinely and realistically pile things on. It doesn't dole out the heartache and pain, or joy, perfectly.”

“I've toured around the world. I've worked with men, women. I feel like I've been unusually lucky to have supportive friends around me, and I feel tremendously supportive about my peers. I can't wait to brag about how funny my friends are.”

“I've never tweeted. 'Funny or Die' started my Twitter account for me, and so I don't even have the password or anything like that. They started it, then they handed it off to other comics.”

“It is that bizarre thing. If I had kids, I, of course, would tell them there's Santa, but it's also just an odd feeling to be blatantly lying to kids.”

“Reminding myself that I have a tailbone keeps me in check.”

“People write me every day. It feels like this cycle that keeps giving, because as far along as I get in my happiness and success, hearing other people's stories is a constant reminder of where I came from, where people are, and how much help everybody still needs.”

“It's almost embarrassing how much support I have. I mean, I always tell people I feel like I'm perfectly set up to have cancer. I have great health insurance, I have a savings account. I have work lined up. I have friends and family. I have the best doctors I can get.”

“My career has always kind of moved forward and upward. I've never had anything kind of stall out or go in the opposite direction. I've always kind of been moving in the right direction.”

“When I'm not touring, I really don't leave the house.”

“You can think you're living in the moment and you're thankful, but when somebody comes face to face with you and says, 'I just lost my child,' or 'I have months to live, and thank you...' I'm of course sad for them, but I'm thankful that I gave them a gift and they're giving me a gift.”