Thaddeus White

“Duncan yawned and scratched at a spot on his temple. “According to my reckoning, you shall be punished thusly. Hanged twice, for major theft and unlawfully slaying a beast in the Comte’s forest. Lashed… let me see… four hundred and twenty-seven times for adultery, fornication and minor theft. Lastly, imprisoned for tax evasion and rigging boxing matches for,” the lieutenant paused and totted up the list of offences, “Ninety-six years.”Roger the Goat nodded gravely, and asked, “In what order?”

“Have a scaffold erected in the square. We shall hang a traitor or two before dinner. And perhaps afterwards as well.” - Princess Karena”

“If I wanted a life of chastity I’d live with my wife.”

“He ate with all the restraint of a nymphomaniac at an orgy.”

“You can’t fight if you’re drunk,” she n”

“A golden dragon. Splendid. My life expectancy has just become shorter than a gnome’s todger.”

“The elf was armed with a bow, a sword, and an overwhelming sense of his own importance.”

“Have a scaffold erected in the square. We shall hang a traitor or two before dinner. And perhaps afterwards as well.”