Taylor Tomlinson

“I didn't have a dream college. After graduation, I attended Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo, majoring in communication.”

“I started doing stand-up in high school and knew I was funny, but I didn't think it was something I could actually do full-time until I was maybe 19 or 20.”

“Being in your 20s is like having a virus. You can't do anything. You just have to wait until you're better.”

“Some people will say, 'Oh, you're very wise beyond your years,' and that's just a nice way of saying, 'You hate yourself, and you should!'”

“I've always wanted to wear black lipstick, but I think you have to have like a really cool personality.”

“It took me a long time to accept that I needed to figure out something that worked for me. Because I had tried getting on antidepressants a few times over the years and it didn't work and I would give up.”

“My goal was to have a Netflix special by the time I was 30.”

“If there were a way to get great at headlining without going anywhere and sleeping in your own bed every night, I would absolutely do that.”

“Nothing replaces live shows.”

“I watch old clips sometimes and I'm like, I think I'm making people sad.”

“That's the thing that's so messed up about dating, is that you start hearing all these stories about how nuts their ex-girlfriend or -boyfriend or whoever was, and the longer that you date the more relatable those stories become - the more you realize it's just their account, and it's not necessarily what actually transpired.”

“My mom passed away when she was 34 years old... And I think in addition to I have to be really good if I'm going to disappoint my parents, I also have that in the back of my head, which is... okay. I may only have until 34 because in addition, my mom's aunt also died, same cancer, 34. So there's a pattern.”

“Acting is embarrassing for me. Stand-up had to be taken away for me to consider it.”

“The way I started doing comedy is not a very cool, rock and roll story.”

“If you're going to work in churches, you have to stay very clean and really careful for the rest of your career. Otherwise, you know, a swear word could end it for you.”

“It's mostly fun to introduce someone to one of their superfans.”

“If I did act in something, my first thought would be, 'OK, great, people will watch this and come see me on tour.' Everything's there to serve stand-up, and make that bigger and better.”

“I think that if you are a very conservative Christian parent, and your kid deviates from what is so important to you, that is very painful. And then it's probably 100 times more painful when they are a public figure, for lack of a better term.”

“So much of religion is like, 'Well if you were praying about it, if you were good with God, that would fix everything.'”

“I'm not really a risk-taker - being a standup comic to me is already risky enough.”