Tammara Webber

“I try to be rational and suppress the hope that this is for real, but hope has a way of closing its eyes to reason and it just keeps growing.”

“We were encouraged to propose safetyprevention suggestions, and write them all down— locking doors, walking or exercising with a friend, wearing shoes that don’t hinder running. Erin’s suggestion of “Avoid assholes” was popular.”

“The little kids by the water threw their hands in the air and squealed, chasing each other in circles.It was hard to believe that I’d ever been that small. That young. That happy and clueless. They hadpain ahead. Heartbreak. Loss. They didn’t know and I didn’t want them to – but at the same time, Ihated that I hadn’t known. I’d taken everything for granted – my mother, my friends in Alexandria,playing hockey. I dreamed about the future because that’s what people persuade you to do whenyou’re a kid, but that’s the biggest lie of all – that you can plan. Reality is, you have no fucking cluewhat’s coming and neither do they”

“Lucas: I wanted to talk to you after class, but you disappeared.Me: I have another class right after. One of those profs who stops talking, stares at you and waits until you get to your seat if you're late.Lucas: I would probably just walk to my seat even slower. ;)”

“The truth was, he now belonged only to my past, and it was time I begin to accept it, as much as it hurt to do so.”

“My mother always pouted that it was actually her paintings and not her charm, her beauty or her sass that made him fall in love with her. He'd always insisted that it was definitely her sass. I knew the truth. He fell for all those things, and when she died, it was like someone had extinguished the sun, and he had nothing left to orbit.”

“Love is not the absence of logicbut logic examined and recalculatedheated and curved to fitinside the contours of the heart”

“Not stupid. Overly trusting, maybe, but that reflects on his lack of trustworthiness, not on your intelligence.”

“I shrugged. “I guess that guys who’d never do something like that have a hard time believing some other guy would,” I said, but I could see her point. Awareness and apologies were fine and good, but they could come too late.”

“Tonight I want to stand on the side of a cliff and look down, dare the wind to gust and knock me off. Everyone thinks that falling to your death is the worst thing that can happen. But that’s a lie. The worst thing is to be alive for no reason.”

“It isn't fair how I doubt him, and I wonder if he'll ever gather that my loss of faith extends further than I'd ever known it would, severing lines of trust and leveling my confidence like a city-flattening tornado.”

“I was holding the door for several girls in front of you, and I waited for you to catch up. When you reached me, you looked pleased, and a little surprised. Unlike the others, you didn't expect the door to be held for you by some random guy. You smiled up at me and said, 'Thank you.”

“There are a million ways to lose someone you love.”

“I felt the threads of connection between us—fragile filaments, so easily snapped. Like the poem at shift into his side, we were craving to fit inside the other, and is melting and reshaping could be deeper, more resilient.”

“I was so afraid of wanting too much that I couldn't trust her handing me a shot at getting it. I don't want to be that senselessly fearful ever again.”