T. J. Miller

“When I was in high school, I was doing all the plays. My drama teacher, Melody Duggan, was the one one who first made me do stand-up. She's the origin of the whole thing; it's all her. In high school in Denver, that was kind of the beginning of it all.”

“Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche.”

“My father really told me, seriously, if you want something, you can have it, but you may have to work harder than anyone else around you.”

“I feel like I've forcefully been thrust into the tech world, and I've enjoyed every minute of it.”

“'Guardians of the Galaxy' is tongue-in-cheek and has a sense of humor about itself. But it's nothing like 'Deadpool.' 'Deadpool' is this super-bizarre thing. The best thing about it is that it's R-rated.”

“'Silicon Valley' is a great show. It might be the best comedy on television. And if the Academy feels I have stood out to the point of deserving an award, I won't pawn it.”

“Is it possible to have negative self-awareness?”

“Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.”

“Hollywood is the only thing more ridiculous than Silicon Valley. There's nowhere else where it's stranger.”

“Everybody asks me what it was like to be in my underwear for my network television debut.”

“I know that, as a comedian, I've made great strides because I've worked as hard as a person can work at being at least wildly amusing.”

“When you get into a car, and there's trash, or it's dirty, or one of the hubcaps is off, you're like, 'Come on, dude.' Every woman likes the confidence and self-respect that says, 'I get oil changes. I look after my vehicle.' That's what I recommend: Act like you don't care, but take care of your body.”

“I can't stand Snapchat, but that will be extinct before it is relevant.”

“I like hip-hop, but I don't like concerts. There's, like, sweat on people's backs.”

“Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested.”

“It's always fun to agree to be in a movie when you have no idea what it's actually going to be!”

“I think the physical comedy in action sequences is fantastic. Like, '21 Jump Street' did a great job with that.”

“People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars.”

“I have perfectly symmetrical ankles.”

“I'm interested in morality and mortality, and 'Deadpool' kind of has all of these themes.”