Steve Carell

“I've waited my entire life to be busy. Whenever I hear actors complain about being busy, I think, 'shut up.' Because you do, you wait to be successful or to be able to work.”

“Goalies almost never get credit for winning a game, but they always get blamed for losing a game.”

“You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else.”

“Don't underestimate your kids. Don't be condescending, because they're children but they're not stupid.”

“There's such a freewheeling nature to 'Second City,' and the greatest thing about 'Second City' was having a sophisticated audience night after night who appreciated what it was. They knew it wasn't all going to be great when you improvised, so they were very forgiving that way.”

“My father is Italian, and I never met my paternal grandparents. The family name was 'Caroselli' and it was changed in the mid '50s. I think they wanted to assimilate, which was pretty common, although I love the name 'Caroselli.'”

“I joined an improv group in college, which was a lot of fun. After I graduated, I moved to Chicago to try to get into the Second City.”

“'Anchorman'... is not grounded in anything. There is absolutely no heart to that movie, which I love.”

“I'm a fun dad, but I don't know if I'm the fun, crazy dad.”

“I don't think something necessarily has to be mean or cynical to represent 'edgy.' I think 'edgy' can mean a lot of different things.”

“When I first started looking at Twitter, I followed people like Steve Martin, who will just write the funniest non sequiturs now and then, which I thought was really fun. That's kind of the road I've taken. Every now and then, something comes into your mind and you put it out there. It's very innocuous. I think it's kind of fun.”

“Being a leading man... that's like saying, 'I want to be astronaut.' That's not going to happen.”

“Steve Buscemi is hilarious. He's really, really good with improv.”

“I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.”

“I don't think my kids have to worry too much about me embarrassing them because that's not how I would want to grow up, with wacky dad showing up at school and performing for everyone.”

“People generally have sex fairly young, and probably younger than they should be having it.”

“I'm not good with pickup lines or flirting. I don't have that kind of self-confidence or natural charisma.”

“I had a friend who, after 25 years of marriage, found himself trying to date again, and it was completely different. Everything had changed, and he had to reacquaint himself. It was funny even talking to him about it. For someone who has been out of the loop, it's a different world.”

“I play the baritone horn - which is like a mini tuba, and is the least sexy instrument you can choose, and I generally say I don't play one so I don't have to acknowledge it. I also play fife.”

“I had a lot of coaches growing up that were very hard on the kids in the name of building character, but it could have the opposite effect on kids.”