Stephen Grosz

“Pyschoanalysts are fond of pointing out that the past is alive in the present. But the future is alive in the present too. The future is not some place we're going to, but an idea in our mind now. It is something we're creating, that in turn creates us. The future is a fantasy that shapes our present.”

“Being loved is the problem, because love is a demand - when you're loved, someone wants more of you.”

“The bigger the front, the bigger the back.”

“When I'm in a couple, I feel I'm disappearing, dying - losing my mind.”

“As he spoke, I had the mental image of a small boy switching on the nightlight, not because he wants to be able to find his parents during the night, but because he fears his parents will forget him - lose him - in the dark.”

“A lot of people, especially psychoanalysts, assume that happiness can only be found in a couple - but not all of us are made for a relationship.”

“we all try to silence painful emotions. but when we succeed in feeling nothing we lose the only means we have of knowing what hurts us and why.”

“For a minute, the fantasy frightened her, but ultimately, this fear saved her from feeling alone.”

“Closure is just as delusive-it is the false hope that we can deaden our living grief.”