A biography for Spike Milliganhasn’t been written yet.
“How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.”
“It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.”
“It was implanted in me that I came from a different class - an elevated class. I was cushioned by servants. I don't remember doing anything for myself. I only played and went to school.”
“I'm a hero with coward's legs.”
“I can speak Esperanto like a native.”
“My father was a soldier, which meant that he was a warrior, which meant that he was important. My mother rode a horse and sang in the Governor-General's band, so that made her important as well.”
“Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.”
“And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.”
“With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.”
“When I get depressed, I try to get something for the terrible sadness that comes over me and create something in terms of poetry.”
“...Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of Gunner. Now the crunch: someone with a perverted sense of humour made him a Lance Bombardier. Roberts went insane with power. The war now consisted of two people, him and Hitler.”
“Thankfully, we didn't stop at Malta. I think Malta was thankful, too.”
“I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
“I can't stand being late. I try to be professional. I try not to let people down. But people let me down. That's why I don't rely on anyone to call me. That's why I have clocks as well as people. I have to be able to call myself; it's the only way to be sure.”
“I have resigned from the human race. Look at the way we treat animals.”
“My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”
“The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all.”
“After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it”
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.”