Seth Meyers

“When my girlfriend and I talk about being happy, I'll get choked up, which I think is the greatest gift you can give a girlfriend.”

“Politicians don't say no to cameras very often.”

“My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family.”

“I'm strictly a sugar-free Red Bull guy. I'd rather enjoy my sugar intake elsewhere.”

“I always thought I'd be a father.”

“I was very much aiming to go into movies eventually, like a lot of 'SNL' people. But, soon after I arrived, all these really good actors started, like Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis and Andy Samberg, and I thought, 'If I were casting a movie, I would put all of them in it over me.'”

“I'm a terrible grocery shopper. I hardly ever do it. And if I do, there's never more than three things in the bag.”

“The hands are the feet of the arms.”

“People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes.”

“It's very hard to get inside Donald Trump's brain, and I don't want to try.”

“I did not go into comedy to escape anything. I went into comedy because I had parents who thought it was a reputable way to earn a living.”

“I think the greatest gift your parents can give you if you want to be a comedian is good taste.”

“People who know me would not say that, at my core, I'm silly.”

“I don't know what else to do other than tell people what I think to be untruths.”

“'SNL' after-parties are sort of like a time to celebrate your successes and drown your sorrows, depending on how the show went for you.”

“The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it's strong enough to unplug me from the comedian's mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry.”

“My parents introduced me to 'SNL,' Monty Python, and Richard Pryor probably way earlier than they had any right to.”

“I'm not a tortured soul.”

“I'm a bold man. I throw caution to the wind.”

“Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head.”