Samantha Bee

“There are some people who believe that these are not real stories with real people, but they actually are.”

“I get maximum satisfaction out of buying children's clothes online.”

“Don't judge me. I made a lot of money.”

“It's not every day people fly you to New York for auditions.”

“I think NASCAR's coming to Canada now so it'll take on a whole new relevance. Be afraid.”

“Our family car was the antithesis of designs and desirability. It was like driving Hitler's moustache.”

“I'm capable of living in the moment. And I'm especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people's moments.”

“I am a cookbook fanatic.”