Sam Kinison

“Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.”

“I'm attracted to heartbreakers.”

“I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.”

“If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.”

“AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.”

“I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.”

“Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.”

“I'm so tired of men who are afraid to hurt women's feelings.”

“I'm a comedian, and my comedy has never endorsed violence towards gays.”

“When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.”

“Anyone can go out on stage and start beating people over the head with rubber chickens. That'll get people's attention.”

“What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny - but when I do it, it's not?”

“I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.”

“Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.”

“I'm not going to give up the shock part of my comedy.”

“I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock 'n' roll and ex-wives. In that order.”

“My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!”

“Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.”

“Just because I do a few comedy bits about gay people, that does not mean I'm out there promoting some anti-gay cause.”

“If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.”