Russell Peters

“My dad was the funniest guy I ever knew.”

“I don't want to be a part of any Bollywood movie.”

“If you look good, you can act in a Bollywood movie, you don't have to be able to act; and Aishwarya Rai is a great example of this. She is a beautiful woman... You look at her, I want to look at her. Damn, she is fine; but stop acting or stop trying to act.”

“I'm not just saying this, but I love everything about India.”

“I will never stop doing stand-up; that's my career, but I will do movies in Hollywood.”

“Ideally I'd like to be working steadily as an actor: movies, a TV series, that sort of thing. I've been through a few different TV development cycles, and they didn't work out. When the time and project are right, it'll come together. Like I tell a lot of guys, it's not a race; there's no finish line.”

“I'm always amazed at how much people 'get' when I'm performing overseas. I've never had to change my act on my international shows; I just make sure that I've taken some time to get to know the people in those countries before I perform. That's been really useful.”

“My humour comes from acknowledging different communities. That's what my fans are responding to - they know that I 'get it.' I understand them. I take the time to understand them. I get more complaints from people when I don't talk about them. I've had guys come up to me after a show and go, 'You didn't talk about Latvians!'”

“I DJ and I'm a harsh critic of DJs.”

“Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white.”

“Who I am on stage is just an amped up version of who I am in real life.”

“I'm not a media darling. I'm forever the outsider, for whatever the reason is.”

“I hate Bollywood. The movies are all garbage, just terrible. It's my opinion; obviously, there are billions who like and love them. I don't like all the singing, dancing and all the dramatic crying. I have never seen a Bollywood film in my life.”

“On my best day, I cannot do Scottish people. I don't even believe that's a real accent, to be honest with you. I think they probably sound like us when they're in the house. It's how they keep people away from them.”

“I do a lot of cultural material that's based on my traveling around the world. I basically just report what I've seen and where I've been.”

“There's a big difference between race and culture. Because racially, I'm an Indian man. Culturally, not at all.”

“I have a phenomenal memory. I remember every single thing that anybody said to me, ever did to me, who was nice to me and who was not nice to me.”

“There's always someone who's going to interpret my material as racist, but it's not. Racism comes from intent and power. A racist will tell a joke about a group of people only when they're not in the room. I'll talk about a group of people only when they're in the room.”

“I've seen racism in my audiences. For example, I've seen people laugh at every other group, but then clam up when it comes to their community. You can't laugh at everyone else and then not laugh at yourself. You shouldn't be at my show if you can't laugh at yourself.”

“If you're politically correct, chances are you're not coming to one of my shows. I get to go onstage and say things that everybody thinks all the time, but can't say out loud.”