Russell Howard

“I did a stand-up performance on Conan O'Brian, which was great, but it's not for me. I prefer England.”

“When you see the American chat shows, they've got so many ideas about what they could with the guests. I did stand-up on 'Jimmy Fallon' and they had loads of sketches and ideas, we don't tend to do that here.”

“Your country becomes funnier the further you are from it. I remember seeing Boris Johnson on the news when I was in Hong Kong, and he looked so much more ridiculous.”

“I like New York, I think you've got some of the best comics in the world here.”

“Sometimes improv doesn't work on TV because the audience had heard the thing that was shouted and they're very much alive, the audience in the room - they're alive in that moment. Whereas the audience sat at home on the sofa, it feels like it's part of a party that they haven't been invited to.”

“I'd been writing jokes since I was 16, not very good ones though, but I was always trying to make my mates laugh.”

“The British Museum is great for seeing how excellent we were at stealing things.”

“I have 40 cousins.”

“I'm a very early riser on holiday. I am invariably down at the pool on a sun lounger even before anyone can put a towel on one.”

“I wanna be incidental characters in 'Only Fools and Horses,' that would have been good. I wouldn't mind playing Trigger, Trigger would have been good.”

“The number of old ladies who've beaten me up on TV is absolutely ridiculous.”

“Mum's side of the family are daft, beautiful and brilliant.”

“I lived at home until I was 23.”

“Whenever the word 'weird' is mentioned it can only be an insult.”

“Chappelle is incredible. He is comfy on stage and he talks about big things and small things. He's a version of himself. That's what I've always wanted to be and hopefully I still am.”

“Real life is hard. I'm sorry, but shopping at Tesco is not as much fun as writing jokes for TV shows, and I struggle with it.”

“What do you know when you're 19? I was just stomping around doing gigs.”

“Yeah, I'd love to write a film, that'd be great.”

“In the summer Regent's Park is one of the best places in the world with every nationality playing every sport.”

“The strange thing about people considering me upbeat is that I'm really not.”