Robert Webb

“Do I wake up every day and thank God that I live in 21st-century Britain? Of course not. But from time to time, I recognise it as an unfathomable privilege.”

“It's odd because some actors are very scared of comedians.”

“One thing about the fantasy dinner party idea that no one considers is whether these people are going to get on. I would say John McEnroe and Ian McEwan, but what would they have to say to each other?”

“Feminism isn't about hating men. It's about challenging the absurd gender distinctions that boys and girls learn from childhood and carry into their adult lives.”

“I'm good at finding things to do on my own, even if it's just reading.”

“I'm troubled by how much I like Rowan Williams. I think it reveals character flaws in myself that I'd rather not think about. The softly spoken soon-to-be-former Archbishop of Canterbury is my secret crush, my weird pash, and my guilty pleasure.”

“When the Mac ad campaign was in full swing, I quickened my pace as I went past certain bus stops. My wife told me that she loyally took a piece of chewing gum off my nose once.”

“Labour is at its best when it remembers its moral fury.”

“I'm knackered. I'm knackered all the time. My stupid, tiny children wake me up at 5:48 A.M. every single morning.”

“I had a friend at college who took being poor very personally. He started showering in the sports centre next door and said he wasn't going to pay for the hot water in our flat any more because he didn't use it. He made me and my other friend pay the bills on our own.”

“Like most men, I can't say I am thrilled my hair's falling out, but then, if I really cared, I suppose I would wear a wig, get transplants, or start taking special pills, so I am obviously just putting up with it.”

“Feminism is an attack on social practices and habits of thought that keep women and men boxed into gender roles that are harmful.”

“When I was 18, I was halfway up the Eiffel Tower with my friend, Tom, when we decided to stick our heads through the railings. The gap between the railings was exactly the right size to be able to put your head through and nearly get stuck. Which is exactly what happened.”

“If I hadn't got into comedy, I wouldn't have met Abbey, my wife, and I wouldn't have my two girls, and the whole thing unravels. That's the thing about being basically - whisper it quietly - happy, is that you don't really want to change anything, because once you start changing stuff, then what you've got all disappears.”

“I don't care where you went to school. There - have I made your day? No? All right, I'll go further: I also don't care what your dad did for a living or how your mum voted. Nor do I mind whether you ate your tea in front of the telly, dinner at the kitchen table, or supper in the dining room.”

“I grew up watching British comedy on TV, really.”

“I don't do much lying in real life because I don't get away with it.”

“I'd kill to be 'Doctor Who.' Maybe they could make the Doctor two people? He has got two hearts, after all.”

“Religion is many things, but one of them, surely, is a way for adults to indulge in uncritical hero worship.”

“It should go without saying that there are as many working-class people who hold socially liberal views as there are public-school bigots.”