Robert Ben Garant

“Movies are very, very good to me; What do I need TV for?”

“There were guys in 'The State' who would take one script and rewrite it and rewrite it and rewrite it and fight for it for a whole season, and after a couple of seasons, you realized that doesn't work. You have to just be willing to throw something away, no matter how good it is, and write a better joke.”

“When we first started to write our first movie, 'You Are Going To Prison,' we wanted it to be crazy and unique, brand new, our voice, not like anything that'd ever been before. It took us about a year to write our first script.”

“The 'Reno' movie is very solid. 'Balls of Fury' I'm pretty disappointed in - I blame myself. People hate both of those movies equally.”

“The good thing about being a writer is that you don't need anything except for a laptop. You can really do your own work, and if you're not manically compelled to write all the time before you do it professionally, it's probably not a business for you, anyway.”

“If one real working screenwriter had visited us in college and just said, 'This is what my day is like,' it would have been really helpful.”

“L.A. is like an oil rig. It's not pretty. It's awful. The air is bad, the view is bad, the people are bad.”

“We had a great run on 'Reno' - 87 episodes and a movie. Not too shabby.”

“Writing a screenplay's not rocket science, but I was in a bar, and the bartender came up to me and said, 'I saw 'Night at the Museum,' and the thing about him and his kid brought me and my kid together.' Something like that... it's like, 'Oh, right. That's why we're doing it.'”

“Nobody mentioned this in any of the reviews, but the reason we came up with that plot for 'Reno 911: Miami' is because we thought it was just the stupidest title for a movie that we could think of.”

“It's always hard to watch bad actors improv on your skit.”