Ray Romano

“Well, I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means.”

“You're only as good as your last joke, your last show, your last whatever. The confidence is there, but underneath, there is always insecurity.”

“If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.”

“After 'Raymond,' there was this big feeling of, 'What do I do next?'”

“I do what I do because I love it.”

“I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.”

“The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.”

“The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.”

“I still got my hair, I'm not fat.”

“I don't want to be a spokesman for family values, but that's the way my standup is perceived.”

“The only thing I miss from the sitcom format is that immediate gratification of when you're, if we're talking about comedy, of the live audience.”

“Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they're born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.”

“I don't get sick.”

“I don't think men talk as much as women, but when we have something on our minds we'll get it out.”

“My hair was long - in my high school year book, I looked like an ugly David Cassidy.”

“You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.”

“In stand-up, there's that idea that comedy comes from a dark place, but it's not a rule.”

“I don't want to say work is who I am, but some people feel more centered and more whole when they're producing and creating.”

“The successful golfers - they're like astronauts or pilots. They have that demeanor that they can focus and stay within that one moment and nothing distracts them. That's not me.”

“Doris Roberts had an energy and a spirit that amazed me. She never stopped. Whether working professionally or with her many charities or just nurturing and mentoring a green young comic trying to make it as an actor, she did everything with such a grand love for life and people, and I will miss her dearly.”