Prince Philip

“My father, for I suppose the last 70 years, has given the most remarkable devoted service to the queen, to my family, to the country and also to the whole of the Commonwealth.”

“Then we go back to the Duke of Edinburgh; I recall an amazingly ridiculous campaign against him because, on a visit to India, he was invited to go tiger-shooting (such an invitation is a great honour there) and after a few days of the newspapers back home yelling and screaming and jumping up and down, he had to pretend that he had a whitlow on his trigger-finger and so couldn't shoot anything, not even a tabloid journalist.”

“Philip was the unsettling definition of a full-on alpha male: devastatingly handsome, vigorously self-assured, impatient with fools — and not just fools. When he leaned from his considerable height and bore down on a recalcitrant fact or factotum, it could be a shriveling experience for whoever had got it wrong.”

“Have you run over anybody?”

“Q: "What do you see as the biggest problem in conservation?”

“Is it made with Liffey water?”

“There is nothing like it for morale to be reminded that the years are passing—ever more quickly—and that bits are dropping off the ancient frame. But it is nice to be remembered at all.”

“Constitutionally I don't exist.”

“Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut.”

“Ah good, there's so many over there you feel they breed them just to put in orphanages.”

“You look like you’re ready for bed!”

“Do you know they're now producing eating dogs for the anorexics?”

“Do you still throw spears at each other?”

“You managed not to get eaten then?”

“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”

“You are a woman, aren't you?”

“What’s the matter with these people? Can’t they see what’s good for them?”

“Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf.”

“It looks as if it was put in by an Indian.”

“Welcome Mr. Reich Chancellor.”